I Lost Friends To Suicide

by Anonymous

I have no idea where to start or how to even begin to write this. I am four weeks out of the Army. I was discharged due to a failed drug test.

Well I came in to our barracks room to find my best friend/battle buddy/roommate hanging in our latrine door way. As I came in to find his lifeless body hanging, I did what any TRUE GRUNT would do. I cut him down and immediately began my CLS teachings. I kept doing cpr and yelling for help.

No one ever came. I sat with him, holding him close begging him to come back. After an eternity it seems, I picked him up and carried him to our battalion staff duty and begged them to help.

I can't get it off my mind, so I started self-medicating and now am out of the army. Following all of this I've lost another due to self-execution. I've pushed the only family I have away, and have nothing else. I want my life.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. The trauma you've been through is unimaginable. Losing someone you care about to suicide is a gut-wrenching pain, and very challenging to recover from. I don't know how much help I can offer here, but I'll try.

I strongly encourage you to write about your experiences, combat trauma and the trauma associated with the suicide of your friends. This has been found to be very helpful to war veterans. When you write about your experience, it sorts it out in your mind, helping you to come to terms with what happened. You will find guidelines for this writing process on this page.

It is also extremely important that you get clean and sober. If not, then you will be unable to heal emotionally. When you self-medicate, you put your emotions on hold, which stops the healing process.

I'm not pretending that I have the answers for you here, but these things just might help.

I wish you all the best in your healing and recovery.

And thank you so much for your service.

Dr. DeFoore

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