I Keep Walking Away In Anger

by Christy
(Collinsville)

Whenever I feel I can't handle a situation in my relationship with my boyfriend I always take off and disappear for a few hours. He then thinks that I'm doing something that I shouldn't be.

When I get back we argue. And I get very very angry because he doesn't believe what I say.



Can you help me figure out a way to stay in control of any given situation and not leave? I have a bad temper and I can't control it. If I cant get these issues under control my future with him is over.

Please can you offer me any advice?



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Christy, and thanks for telling your story here. Congratulations to you for taking responsibility for your anger and asking for help. That is the first step to change.

One question I would encourage you to consider is, what is happening that makes you want to leave? Are you being treated with respect? Are you being hurt emotionally or physically? If so, maybe leaving is the best thing. That is for you to decide. Your anger is designed to protect you, and it just might be doing its job.

Or, maybe your boyfriend is a good guy and he treats you with respect, but you still get mad. If that's the case, I recommend you try these steps:

Do all three journaling exercises described on this page. This will help you look at your personal history, contain your anger, and shift your focus to the good things in your life.

If you are aware of past trauma in which you were hurt, neglected, abandoned or abused, use these imagery processes for emotional healing for resolution.

Practice the anger management techniques (link on left) on a daily basis, until you can use most of them from memory.

Above all, Christy, believe in yourself. You have a good heart--focus on that part of you and never give up!

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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