I Get Angry When My Girlfriend Lies To Me

by Anthony
(Bloemfontein, South Africa)

Everything in our relationship is well until she goes somewhere visiting family and comes back drunk. She will deny that she is drunk and that makes me very angry.

When I tell her to go to sleep, she will provoke me so much so that I would slap her face and then a heavy fight will break out between us, until she subsides and goes to sleep.

Next morning she doesn't remember a thing and doesn't know where she got hurt. I feel bad about it because I am a good person at heart and don't use alcohol. I realize now I have a problem with anger.

What must I do? I need help to manage this anger.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Anthony, and thanks for telling your story here. I respect your willingness to take full responsibility for your anger. I can also see why you are upset by your partner's behavior.

I encourage you to learn about alcoholism on this page, in order to make good decisions about your relationship. You simply cannot have a healthy relationship with a practicing alcoholic, and it sounds like your partner is in fact an alcoholic.

To deal with your anger, you will find a highly effective set of tools on this FAQ page. Follow each step carefully, and you will get some good results.

I also suggest that you read the following pages about relationships:

how to deal with abusive relationships
relationship advice
letting go of a relationship

I hope you find this helpful, Anthony. Believe in yourself and the good person you truly are.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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