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I Don't Know How To Tell My Parents

by Paula
(New York )

My name is Paula and I am 12 years old. I am writing to you because I feel I need anger management classes, but don't know how to tell my parents.

This started about a month ago and I'd thought it would go away, but it actually got worse. I don't really know how to tell my parents that I'm feeling this way, or anybody really.


Most of the time I feel like bursting out screaming or hitting someone but, I hold it all in because I don't want to hurt anyone. Sometimes I am mean in my house.. I don't want to, but I just am.

I ignore my family. Sometimes I also really really want to hurt them. I hold it in but it's not doing anything. My head just hurts and I'm sometimes up all night. I get mad all the time for little unnecessary things and sometimes I don't even know why.

I argue with my mom in the morning a lot. I argue and argue until I get my point through to her, but while I'm doing that I have bad thoughts in my head.

I don't like being told what to do, and that gets me mad even if it's like "pass me that pen." I usually can't let things go.

Please help. I don't like feeling this way and don't know how to tell my parents.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Paula, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell that you are a very bright girl, and it seems to me also that you have a lot of emotional energy--and although that's a problem for you right now, I think it's also a good thing.

I'm going to suggest some things that will help you to understand and release your anger, and begin feeling better about yourself. After doing some of this, if you still feel the need to tell your parents and perhaps take anger management classes, it will be easier for you to do so.

Start by doing this trauma writing process, and at the same time doing the other two exercises on the page. You write very well, so I hope you'll really do this--I think it will help you. The idea here is that the answers and the healing you need are within you.

After doing the above exercises for a couple of weeks, start this positive journaling process. This will help you to feel better about yourself and your world, which will bring you comfort and help you with your anger as well.

Believe in yourself, Paula. You're a good person, and there is good reason for your anger. You will figure this out.

As you heal and progress, I expect that you will learn to channel your strong emotional energy into a passion to fulfill your dreams and offer your unique gifts to this world.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would click the "Like" button at the top left corner of this page.

Comments for I Don't Know How To Tell My Parents

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Jun 18, 2015
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Same
by: Anonymous

My parents just say stop doing it. They don't understand me . :(

Jan 12, 2015
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Good For You, Ana
by: Dr. DeFoore

Ana

I'm so glad you're going to talk to your school counselor. That's what she's there for. And if you don't get the help you need there, keep looking and don't give up. Never give up on yourself. You're worth fighting for.

I wish you a good healing journey.

Dr. DeFoore

Jan 12, 2015
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I Need Help And I'm Going To Find It
by: Ana

I told my parents that I think I have anger issues, and for good reason. When I get mad, I try to keep it in, instead of hurting others, but I end up hurting myself.

I self harm and I want help. So I told my parents and they didn't understand me, and called me stupid. I don't know what to do.

At least I actually want help but they won't help me. I'm gonna try going to my school counselor to see if she helps me. Hopefully she will.

Jun 13, 2014
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Same
by: Dakota

I'm 12, and I get mad at the strangest things. I've been holding it in so long. I had a horrible past that I can't forget, and it's so hard and sad that I'm scared to even talk about it to my own mom.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hi Dakota

Start by writing down everything that happened in the past. Take all of the time you need, but write it all down, and don't show it to anyone. This will help you. Then, when you're ready, ask your mom to please just sit and listen, without saying anything, and read it to her.

I hope this helps,

Dr. DeFoore

Feb 12, 2014
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I'm in the same spot
by: Taylor

I am 15 and I fly off the handle at the smallest things. Sometimes I create fights with my boyfriend and I scream, yell and hit him. I hate being this way, I want help. It makes me cry after I do this because I don't like treating him this way. But I really I can't help it. I just don't know how to explain it to my mom.

Mar 21, 2012
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Anger
by: Victoria

I'm 13 and i get really angry. When i get angry i screw things up, brake something, throw something or start hurting myself. I cant help doing this though. I am in the exact same position as you are in now because i just cant tell my parents. I am really quiet at school because all i think about is my anger and i just want to cry. Only my close friends know about this though and so they don't really mind if i get angry because they know i cant help it. I am glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.

May 21, 2011
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Im in the same situation...
by: Ashley

My boyfriend knows about me but right now he has his own problems. I promised him I wouldn't yell at him, start fights, be in a bad mood, or tell him I hate myself. I really don't like breaking promises, especially with him. My parents don't know about me either and I want them to like me really badly, just so I don't have to keep it all in. I'm 13. so just a little older then you.

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