I Don't Have Any Control Over The Things I Say

by Sierra
(Boulder, CO, USA)

I often fight with many people in my life. Mainly the people I care most about. I know fighting is normal, and many people do it.

What is not normal about my case is, I literally cannot control the things I say when I get over the top. I can mentally process everything going through my head, and process that it's not right to say, but I still say it.

I have said the most horrible, awful things to people. Especially my mother. Most recently, I got so out of control that I called her a series of explicit terms. I then realized that these things were wrong to say, and attempted at an apology, but even during the apology, I started insulting her more, because she was refusing to listen to my apology, which at that point is not unexpected, taking into account the awful things I had already said.

It also happens when I fight with my boyfriend. I love him, and I want to be able to be with him, but I keep seeing myself hurt him more and more, and I can't mentally, or physically, stop. What is my issue?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Sierra, and thanks for telling your story here. This anger is not who you really are, and that's why you don't like it. You are responsible for it, however, and it is a part of you that needs to be understood and healed.

Follow all of the recommendations on this FAQ page, and you will start to understand your anger and begin your healing process. These are tools, Sierra, and they only work if you use them.

You are worthy of a good life, and the only way you can have one is if you start to heal and become the good person you really are inside.

Believe in yourself, and do this for your good heart.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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