I Can't Get Over My Anger From My Husband's Long Term Affair

by Rob
(Louisville, KY)

My husband worked with a lady in our business. I quit my job to join him in our venture together. Shortly after I started I found out and watched my husband and an employee have an emotional affair. I begged him to fire her, he would not.


My children begged him to get rid of her and he would not. I waited like a fool hoping he would "choose me over her". After 3 years he acted like he fired her. They did this so they could have full blown affair.

I caught them 4 years later. I am so angry, bitter and resentful! I want to tell her spouse and children and ruin her life like she did ours. I have held back but it's been a living hell for a year now.

I am obsessed with the thoughts of "them". I lash out in anger and check up on him and her. I don't trust our employees because they watched, but acted like nothing was going on.

It's been a nightmare. I feel horrible hatred for all of them. My counselor suggested I may have rage addiction. After 7 years perhaps I do. I want so bad to get over this and move on.

I need help.



Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Rob, and thanks for telling your story here. What you've been through is deeply painful, and it's no surprise that you're very, very angry. But now the focus needs to be on getting you to feel better within and about yourself.

I strongly encourage you to follow all of the guidelines on this FAQ page. These tools are highly effective, if you use them with focus and commitment.

I think you may also benefit from the following page on relationships:

letting go of a relationship

Believe in yourself, Rob, and make up your mind to create a good, happy life for yourself regardless of how others have treated you. You are worthy of respect and love.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission.