I Am Hurting My Daughter And I Want To Stop

by Anonymous

I have a 6 yr old daughter who is in her 1st grade. She has severe hearing loss, but she is fitted with a hearing aid.

My problem is she does not copy her class work, and she keeps fumbling for answers when I ask. I get provoked if I know she does not copy or she forgets and start yelling at her and also beating her.

After that episode I repent for my action and for making her miserable. I don't want to spoil her faith or her confidence in life. Though I understand the fault lies on me, I am not able to get over the situation. I need some advice on this.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. I am so glad that you want to stop hurting your child. It is so very important that you stop beating her and yelling at her. Her fragile, delicate little soul needs your love and care. I respect how you have taken total responsibility for your behavior. You are a good person who wants to do the right thing. I will try to help.

First, follow all of the recommendations on this page. This may seem like a lot of effort on your part, but it is absolutely necessary if you are going to stop hurting your child and start loving her for the precious being that she is.

Next I want you to begin journaling every day about all of the positive aspects of your daughter. Every day, start out by listing all of her cute, sensitive and natural aspects. Remember that she is a child of God, and you absolutely must respect her and treat her with kindness. If you have spiritual or religious faith, pray for help with this.

You can also use this two part imagery process to rehearse good behavior with your daughter in your mind. Picture yourself being kind, sensitive, patient and loving to her.

Do not give up on yourself, no matter what. Use what I've recommended, ask for help wherever you can find it, and keep trying.

You can do this. You can be a good mother, because you're a good person inside--that's why you told your story here, and that's why you want to change.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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