How

by Anonymous

Dr. DeFoore, how does one ever come to terms with this life? The stories on this site are of such trauma and sadness.

How is it possible for a little girl to heal when she was continuously raped by her father and uncle? My usual overwhelming desire is to hold them close, to pick them up and run away to a safe place. But there is no safe place after such a thing. There is no healing for such terrible trauma. And I know that this would have been just one thing. The abuse in such families is on every level.

Then the sibling who told their mother and broke up their family...praise God.

My family members suffered in concentration camps in the war. How is it possible to heal from that?

I know there is a strange but definite healing in seeing our own sin, our own fragility. But it is difficult to come to terms with the terrible trauma inflicted on innocent, vulnerable, helpless children of God. Such evil is so horrible I cannot comprehend it or come to terms with it. There is a rage inside me that wants to rise up like a God and strike dead all who would inflict such harm.

But I just then feel pain and grief and I slump inside knowing there is nothing that can be done in such situations and that it is happening all the time. It is happening now. God how can we help, how can we cope with this?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Thank you for writing your questions on this site. I can tell you that healing is more powerful than trauma. I know it because in my 37 years of counseling, I've seen countless people heal from trauma that should have killed them. I know because I've watched my own father heal from his war trauma.

And you can heal also. You cannot help anyone else until you have helped yourself to some extent--that's why you "slump" inside. Read the healing processes described on this page, and I think you will find there is indeed a safe healing place. It is the human heart. There is a place inside even the most traumatized victim that is untouched, pure and innocent. That is also the place of healing.

If you keep reading the stories on this site, you will find messages of hope and healing, not just trauma.

Never give up. Believe in yourself, your God, and in the power of human beings to heal.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore