How Do I Ask My Parents For Help To See A Counselor For My Anger Problems?

by Kia
(London )



I am 14 years old and a girl.

Firstly as I child I was fine until about 7 where I was slightly aggressive and boisterous with people at home and out of school, never in school. However I never realized that what I was doing was wrong. Before this I was fine with my older sister. However, at this stage, I began arguing with her rather frequently.

At about 8-9 I was being told off by my parents a lot because of my actions and very frequently because of the extremely aggressive arguments with my sister. These would be over the smallest of things and we argued so often that we would be rewarded if we didn't argue for 1 day. My dad's relationship with me became very rocky as he would either blame my mum for mine and my sister's behaviour or would be the one to tell us off.



At about 9-12 the depression, or what I now believe it was, started. I thought the whole world was against me because I would be shouted at all the time by my dad and always thought I wasn't good enough. I tried several times to actually end my life because some days I was so overwhelmed by it all. I had thoughts of running away and would wonder what would happen if I just died and because I wanted them to regret how they made me feel. At this point I wasn't lashing out at anyone half as much as before.

At about 12 when I went to year 7 my depression worsened in many ways, I also became very bad at school wherein I would skip school at least 3 times a week. I would smoke and drink on the street. I'm not sure why I did all of that, still to this day. I have always been classed as 'gifted' as a result of my above average results in almost everything.

However, while the depression worsened, the anger also came back harshly and I would threaten people to have fights and was extremely aggressive except luckily I never acted on my words. Additionally I began having arguments with my little sister which made my life hell because I would be blamed even when I have done nothing wrong at all. Usually I would know whether I was in the wrong. This seriously degraded the relationship between my dad and me.

At year 8 the depression went away almost completely, but the anger stayed. Moreover, my parent-daughter relationship worsened still.

I am currently in year 9 and my anger is worsening. I believe I may actually seriously hurt someone which I do not really want to do.

I seriously think I need help because I feel so messed up. My family always comments to me, claiming I need anger management. I think I am bipolar, or sometimes a psychopath.

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Nov 13, 2014
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Use Your Strong Mind To Your Benefit
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hello Kia, and thanks for telling your story here. I can tell you're a very bright girl, and I think you can use your intelligence to overcome your difficulties.

First, regarding how to tell your parents that you need to see someone, this is what I suggest:

1) Plan out what you want to say ahead of time, and write it down. Take these notes with you when you talk to them, just to keep you focused. It might go something like this: "I realize I need help. I want to see someone to help me with my anger. I hope you will support me in this, because I really need the help. I'm scared of my emotional reactions, and they feel out of control. I don't want it to get worse.

2) Request a time to talk with both of them, when you won't be interrupted, and when you are likely to have their full attention. Keep good eye contact with them as you talk, even if you're reading from your notes.

In addition to this, I think someone as bright as you could really benefit from doing these exercises. These are powerful tools, but they only work if you use them, and keep using them until you get the results you're looking for.

Most importantly, Kia, don't give up on yourself. You are a good person, and that's why you don't like the level of anger you're having.

I hope this is helpful to you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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