Horrible Fire

by Anonymous
(Colorado)

This weekend, Saturday, there was a fire in our small college town. The fire fighters are voluntary, but there are a lot of younger guys on the department. My boyfriend happens to be an EMT and a fire fighter.

The call came in around 5:30 a.m., and I got the pleasure of hearing the tones from 4 different pagers in the small house he lives in. The call was for a house fire and EMS and firefighters were needed. He sleepily got up and went to the call.

The fire was so bad, there were two college students, no older than 21, stuck in the top floor of the burning house. The fire raged, and it was unsafe for anyone to continue the rescue...both students died in the fire.

He wasn't shook up about it at first, but recently it began to hit him. He just shut down. He hasn't really talked to me about it...luckily he talked to the fire chief about it last night.

This morning I had a meeting at 7 am, my alarm went off (its a loud warning alarm sound) and he started talking in his sleep. Its normal for him to sleep talk and half the time he just gibbers, but he started off by just saying "No....No....No....NO" I left him be and got ready, then he started actually talking in his dream, "Have them jump or get the ladder," "Then move the ladder," "We'll put a sheet over the bodies." The last comment was the one that scared me. I had to wake him up. I caressed him and woke him up calmly. He woke up dazed and a bit confused asking why I woke him. I told him he was dreaming and talking but he doesn't know what he was dreaming about.

My dad suffers from PTSD from the Persian Gulf War, and well I have never had to deal with this, so it scared me. It really bothers him, and I'm worried. I don't exactly know what to do.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thank you for your story. The best thing you can do for your boyfriend is to stand strong and steady by his side as he goes through this. His brain and body know how to heal, and they will heal naturally unless there is some kind unresolved trauma underneath that was triggered by the fire.

Since the problem is his, I suggest that you point him toward this web site, and then let it go. You can't fix him, but you can love him. And love is the most powerful healer in the world.

Believe in him. See the best in him.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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