Hitting My Husband

by Anonymous

I'm a nervous person from a nervous family. I take medication for anxiety. My husband was pushing my buttons last night in the car driving home. He wasn't saying anything big deal, just annoying and making fun of me. He is a great man that takes good care of me. But I started yelling at him at the top of my lungs and hitting him--I can't hurt him, but i wanted to. Then I just felt like the lowest piece of scum afterwards.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Thanks for writing your story on this site. It is good that you want help, and that you like your husband and appreciate him taking care of you.

Here are some things for you to consider:

1) I don't know any details, but "making fun" of someone can be very damaging. You may have had good reasons to be angry.

2) I get that you didn't like how you handled your anger. That is very clear, and it makes sense.

3) You say you are "a nervous person from a nervous family." I'm sure that has had a strong influence on you, but you don't have to be nervous just because your family has been. While medication can help, it doesn't treat the cause of your anxiety. Try these journaling activities to help you with your anxiety.

4) You also mentioned that he "pushed your buttons" in the car driving home. There are stories behind your "buttons," and that's why you react when they are pushed. When you tell those stories through journaling or talking to a counselor, those buttons will not be activated any more and you won't have those reactions.

5) You might consider trying these anger management techniques in an audio download, or just follow the ones you will find on this site.

Meanwhile, feel free to keep writing your story and questions on this site.

My best to you,

Dr. DeFoore