His Mental Illness Is Making Me Crazy!
I've been married almost 10 years to a very sweet man who has bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and anxiety. He is unable to keep a job for long periods of time due to lack of detail, inability to follow directions, etc. Therefore I went back to college to become the income for the family while he got my job of raising the kids. While he is stable, he does need medication adjustments 1-2 times a year it seems. He faithfully takes his medication.
I'm not sure if its the medication he's on, he is severe so he is on a lot of meds, or if he's just not that bright of a guy. I do know he had to take special ed classes in school through high school for reading comprehension and I'm not sure what else. Whatever the cause, it makes me crazy. I get so frustrated with him, for not being able to do something I ask, or doing it wrong, or forgetting about it. This truly happens daily.
At first I handled it ok. But now, 10 years into it I have lost my ability to cope with the situation. I have begun to yell at him in front of our children, which is INEXCUSABLE! Afterwards I tell myself I've got to get control and stop yelling at him, but the next situation arises and it happens again. Sometimes I am able to diffuse myself a little, but more often than not I can't stop myself.
I do not have medical insurance right now, and finances are very bad, so counseling is not an option at the moment. I went to the library today and picked up a book on anger management and another on bipolar that was written for family. Then I decided to look online and found your website. I'm not sure where to start, but I must start now! I don't know that our marriage will survive, but at least I can fix myself and be a better parent for it! Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. You are in a very challenging situation, and it would be difficult for anyone. I support your decision to manage your anger, regardless of what happens with your marriage.
Do the three journaling exercises you find described on this page
. They will be very helpful to you, if you follow the instructions carefully.
These quotes on relationships
might also be helpful to you. You have to take care of yourself and your children.
Focus on the good person you are inside, and use these tools. You will know what to do regarding your marriage and your family, and you will make the right decision.
My very best to you,
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