Her Arrogance And Pride, My Temper

by Patrick
(Gaborone, Botswana)

I used to date (and just got dumped by) this young, beautiful and intelligent girl. We were together for the past few years. She comes from an upper class family and I come from middle class.

Each time we get into a misunderstanding, If I don't come up and apologize (regardless of who's mistaken), it would take as much time as it can to make up. Most of the fights arise due to how she talks to me, blah, blah.

With me having that short temper, I'd find myself (at a blink of an eye) having slapped her, and feel real bad afterwards.

How can I control, monitor, or get rid of my temper because it destroys precious things in my life.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Patrick, and thanks for telling your story here. It is good that you're asking for help. The reason you feel bad after slapping your girlfriend is that it's wrong and you know it's wrong. I will try to help you.

Do all of the exercises described on this FAQ page. These are powerful tools, but they only work if you use them enough to get good at using them. That's how you get true and lasting benefit.

This may not be enough, Patrick. I hope it is, but if you need more help than this, then consider signing up for one of these online anger management classes. Just don't give up on yourself, and I also encourage you to stay out of intimate relationships with women until you have experienced some deep and lasting healing for your anger problems.

Once a person has experienced being physically aggressive as you have, that pattern can be hard to break. Make up your mind to be the good person you know you are inside, and never hit a woman (or anyone, for that matter) ever again.

Believe in the goodness of your heart, and protect the precious things in your life from your rage and anger.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would provide a written testimonial about the site, Dr. DeFoore's help, or one of our products.