Healthy Anger And Compassion Together

by Anna

When I was in my early twenties, I worked as a dark room tech in the Radiology department of a large hospital. I had only worked at the hospital for two weeks when a bus load of casualties were unexpectedly brought into the emergency room. Because of the seriousness of the new patients' injuries, the other four patients who had been transported down that morning for routine Xrays were left waiting on stretchers in the hallways.

As I looked at the four patients in the hallway I noticed that one was sound asleep, two were busy talking to each other, and one was an 89 year old woman who had been placed all by herself against an opposite wall. The elderly woman was shaking and holding tightly to the railing of her stretcher. I walked over to the older woman, and as I started to talk to her I noticed the fear in her eyes begin to subside. I held her hand and told her that when they had finished with the patients in the emergency room, they would be coming to get her. I stayed with her until my shift began. I will never forget how hard it was to leave her.

On my lunch break I walked out to the hallway to see if the elderly woman was still there. There she was, frightened and disoriented. She was still waiting. I asked a doctor if she could be taken back to her room, but the doctor said that it would be just too much of an inconvenience to move her up to her room and then to later bring her back to the Radiology department.

I stayed with the woman holding her hand and talking to her during my hour lunch break, and then sadly left to go back to my job. At my next break I again checked on the woman and found her to be still waiting in the hallway. This time I became furious. I went to the doctors and complained so much that they finally went and got the elderly woman, Xrayed her and brought her back to her room. That was the angriest moment I had ever had while working in that hospital.

The next day I asked a nurse about the elderly woman. The nurse shook her head and said that the woman had not lived through the night. She passed away in her sleep. Then the nurse put her hand on my shoulder and said, "You're new here aren't you. Well, you'll get used to it. It just takes a little time."

That night when I went home I tried to forget the elderly woman, but I found that I could see nothing but her face. I sat down and wrote a poem about her. After I wrote the poem I realized something. Holding the elderly woman's hand and talking to her had not just been for her, it had also been for me.


“COMPASSION”

If I should hold your hand
and feel compassion
in this touch,
staying only long enough
to find what strength
is us
but not so long
to make us weak.
There are times when alone
is such a bitter want,
and times when it is
peace that we must seek.
I just needed giving
as much as you,
and maybe more.
Till we are both not certain,
who holding hands
was really for.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Anna, and thank you for your story. You give a great example of healthy anger working with compassion for a positive outcome. Before that woman died, she at least felt the touch of your hand and heart.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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