Hard To Quit

by Maria
(Orlando FL)

My boyfriend hides his drinking and has tried to quit but he goes out buying another bottle every second day. He still works, but has skipped a few days every now and then.

He said he was sober 2 years ago but started drinking after a lost relationship and when he got fired. I have lived with him for 6 months. He is very violent while drunk. He got arrested for domestic violence once, got out and physically hurt me again.

He has threatened to kill himself if I leave. I am desperate.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hell Maria, and thanks for telling your story here. You are in a tough spot, as you know. I know you care about your boyfriend, and you want him to be okay. The thing is, he is self-destructive, and dangerous to you and himself.

You are not doing him any favors by hanging around him. Staying with him sends him the message that what he has done to you is acceptable. The only healthy choice you have is to get away from him, and find a way to protect yourself. I suggest you contact your nearest women's shelter and consider staying there until it is clear that he will not come and find you.

His suicidal threat is just more abuse. If he kills himself, that will be tragic, but it will have nothing to do with you. If he ends his life, it is because of his own psychological illness.

Protect yourself. It is the only loving healthy choice you can make.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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