Frustrated

by Anonymous

Currently, I am technically working 3 jobs. I have a full time job, I teach part time and I am starting a business. The full time job has some projects going on that I honestly don't care that much about. They're good projects and would be very beneficial for many people, but I don't have a huge personal interest in them.

It also gets somewhat political because of my position. I have to appease others sometimes at a cost to myself. I really like teaching at the part time job and I like the business I have started too. I would love to quit the full time and work only on my business and the teaching, but before I quit the full time, the business needs to be at a certain level financially.

In each of my jobs, I'm working with people and in two of them I am dealing with people's problems. I know working with problems all day can hugely impact me. I'm tired all the time, frustrated, and even more frustrated...almost to the point of apathy. How do I help people when I feel like I can't help myself? And how do I help myself?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Thanks for submitting your question on this site. You obviously are a very highly motivated person, or you wouldn't be working three jobs. That's a good thing. It's also a good thing to take care of yourself, and make sure you're getting the amount of pleasure and enjoyment from your life that you need.

Here's the deal. There's a part of you inside that wants to feel good and have fun. That part of you is not good or bad, it's just there and it's important. As a matter of fact, having a good time and experiencing pleasure in life is one of your most important activities. Many people neglect this need, and it always creates problems.

So, what do you like to do? Are you making time for those pleasurable activities? Relaxation, leisure, play, creativity and humor are absolutely essential ingredients to a balanced, healthy self-care program. Your inner self is going to be frustrated and maybe a little angry until you get some fun into your schedule.

Most cultures and societies put way too much value on work. I was in Ireland working once (I also played while I was there), and an Irish man said to me, "You Americans live to work, and in Ireland we work to live." You might ask yourself which applies to you.

Hang around with some children, puppies or kittens. Play with them. Let them show you how. Stay at it until you feel yourself relax. Also hang out with any friends you have who like to play and goof off. Life is meant to be enjoyed.

Deep inside you there is a wise person who knows what you need. Get quiet for a while until s/he speaks to you. Follow that advice.

My best to you for a playful future!

Dr. DeFoore