Friends Leaving Each Other

by Vanni
(Anderson)

I had a friend who knew that I wasn't a person that could stay in one place for very long. And then we started departing from each other, and she blames me for always leaving her and going with other friends.

Should I feel guilty, or is it both our faults?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, Vanni, and thanks for asking your question on this site. I think a lot of people have had similar experiences to yours.

Here are some things to consider:

1) Guilt serves no purpose at all. I don't recommend it. I do, however, recommend that you take total responsibility for your words, actions and reactions.

2) You are not responsible for anyone else's words, actions or reactions.

3) Any time you have two people in a relationship, you have two responsible people--unless one of them is a child. So, in answer to your question, I would say that you are both responsible, and no one is at fault.

4) It is normal to feel sad when someone you care for moves away, and that seems to be what your friend is going through. Accept her as she is, love her as she is, and make the choices for your own actions according to what you believe is right for you as a person.

My very best to you and your friend,

Dr. DeFoore

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