For The Grandkids' Sake

by Christina
(Montana)

Me and my family hit rock bottom. My job was barely giving me hours and I've been on leave to have our 2nd baby girl. My mother-in-law wanted to help us out and offered to let us stay at her house.

I really didn't want to, because of my husband's father Bob. He gets off by putting others down picking fights and wanting control of everything whether it's his or not. But being a good wife and mother I was willing to give it a shot. The first two or three weeks went good. I didn't like how he treated his wife but it was verbal and I think she was used to it and it didn't bother her anymore. So one weekend Bob was getting after us to get a dog house for our dog and we said we were gonna build one for him.


Bob said we couldn't build one and we weren't gonna use his unused tools. So I went and asked my dad for help and we spent all of a Sunday over at my parents' building a doghouse. Bob found out what we were doing and said we couldn't bring it over to his house at all. Apparently Bob didn't want us to make a dog house but to go buy a 600 dollar dog house.

Me and my family just ignored him and stayed out of his way. I had to work the night shift that night so I went to work and came home and crawled into bed with my husband. I knew he had to delivery appliances to a house and had to go into work at 11 in the afternoon. He said he left at 10:30, maybe a little before or after.

I was woken up by Bob who was telling that his son left the girls a complete mess and just walked out the door and didn't say anything but that's not true because he came and told me he would be right back. My 2 yr old daughter came in to watch a movie.

She does not like her Grandpa Bob at all and I know its because all he does is yell and scream at her. I don't think he was gone more than in hour. Bob called his phone and bitched him out for leaving to go to work. But the second my hubby came home Bob was running up the stairs picking a fight with his own son.

Bob started yelling at my hubby. I told Bob that he needed to go calm down and to stop yelling in front of my kids. He turned to me and said that it was his house and he can do whatever he wanted and that I shouldn't be standing up for my husband.

I said he went to work and came back and wasn't even gone over an hour. Bob kept yelling and screaming at us and started to call us names and telling us we were worthless parents. I told him many times to stop yelling but he wouldn't. Then the baby started to cry and my other daughter started to yell and I put my foot down and told Bob that he wasn't allowed to around my kids until he went to anger management or therapy.

I told him I was tired of all the destructive abusive behavior and honestly thought it was scaring my kids. I didn't care and moved my family out of that house and stayed with my grandmother.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Christina, and thanks for telling your story here. It sounds to me like you made the right choice. You stood up for yourself and your family. It would be great if your husband stood by your side when you're standing up for him to his father.

Keep up the good work!

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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