Feelings Of Being Drained?

by Wayne
(GA)

Have you ever been in a crowded room when someone new walks in and all of a sudden it is like the Energizer Bunny has just arrived? The crowd seems enlightened, more alive, empowered. There is a surge in creative energy, interdependence, and synergy. I have seen people like this. Their presence lifts away barriers and encourages others to be themselves. Acceptance of differences is the order of the day. At the end of the night people leave with a feeling of completeness and a certain kind of oneness with each other.

Have you ever been in a crowded room when someone new walked in and the entire mood of the room changed? I mean, it is like all of a sudden some life-absorbing entity came in bringing with it a cloud of lifelessness. The people around you lose the look of happiness and there is the feeling of a film on everything. Confusion among the previously interacting people takes place. There is a feeling of not knowing what or who or how, and you can almost feel the energy leave your body as you watch this new individual seem to grow bigger. When you manage to get out of the room you go home and can't sleep due to the muddled thoughts that crowd your head. Sometimes it may take days to find your mind somewhat clear but with the lingering feeling of being injured in some way.

I have found the second kind of person all around me. People in places of power or people in places of seemingly down-played positions, but they aren't actually doing all that bad. Conversations with these people always feel unbalanced. While you may be attempting to connect with them with an earnest desire, they only have the intent of getting something from you. They use very old, well established, finely tunes skills of manipulation in which guilt, obligation, neediness, belittling, criticizing, one-up-manship, overpowering, domination, and aggression are used to take control of you to get what they want.

After being attacked by this kind of interaction I feel older, weaker, sicker, tired, and unable to accomplish what I had earlier intended to accomplish. Life takes on a kind of a two-dimensional perspective. It is like being trapped in my head, being unable to feel my own body and life doesn't seem worthwhile. Spirituality seems to be lost and there seems to be a rejection of God.

I am sure someone would say that this is all in my head but of course it would be the kind of person above that would make that kind of comment. They wouldn't want you to be able to be aware enough to sense that this was happening to you.

I am sure someone would say that I am obviously emotionally and mentally imbalanced. Again, what would a person get from making such a statement. What is the position that this kind of person is trying to get in relationship to you.

I am writing this today because I have been robbed so many times by this kind of interaction that I have long since lost count.

I expended a great deal of my energy in trying to find the cause of my plight and this is the answer that I have come up with. In the past, as I have been growing up, I have been afflicted with this kind of abuse.

I was not protected from these predatory kinds of people. I was not loved and taught how to deal with this kind of person. I wasn't taught to be assertive and strong within myself so that I didn't look wounded and vulnerable. It created a kind of hole in me in which these predatory people seem to seek out and exploit. They feed on those like me. They know that there are many people out there for them to feed on.

So, how do I heal these holes? Feelings! Memories! I found that I have to be brave and go back and look at those times where I was made to be vulnerable and get out those feelings that leave me like a wounded bird, laying out on the open plains for someone to come and eat.

Anger, sadness, fear, guilt, grief, loss, betrayal, confusion and other not so comfortable feelings linger in my body and maybe other places, leaving me vulnerable. My body has weak points and this leaves me vulnerable. I need to go to the memories and be brave enough to face the true feelings of the original moments that first began by bruises and scrapes, those sure signs of injury to the well trained eye.

Buckets of tears and many angrily pulverized pillows must be shed to heal these holes and yes it is true there will be scars, but as everyone knows, scars are stronger than the original skin.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Great contribution, Wayne. This awareness of energy loss and energy gain is extremely important. And I agree with you totally, that we have to learn to "plug the holes" that our energy drains out from. And as you say, the way to do that is to review and heal personal history, traumatic memories, unresolved issues, etc.

Something I've thought about is that these "predators" are victims themselves, who have not done their own inner work, and are therefore draining the world around them. All the more important, therefore, that we do our inner work. I have been shocked to find that when I heal some inner part of myself, I also discover in the process that I had been unconsciously harming others because of my unaddressed wounds.

Thanks again for your powerful contribution.