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Don't Let Me Become My Mother

by Momofaf
(Texas)



Ever since I can remember my mother was very abusive with all of us (my siblings and me). She even whipped my older brother on the back with a cord.

She was always going out at night and getting drunk to drink her problems away. I felt like we were a burden to her and she was never proud of us. I did everything I could to make her say/think that she was proud of my accomplishments.

I always told myself that I would never be the kind of mother she was to us, when it came to me and my own children. They would know that I loved them, that I was proud of them, and that they could share anything they wanted to with me.

I have a two year old and an 8 month old. They are just babies and my anger is starting to get the best of me. I'm becoming very rough with my older son and just screaming off the top of my lungs when they do something that gets me frustrated.

Why am I getting so angry with them? Why am I getting so rough with them? I don't want to be that kind of mother. I don't want to become my mother, help!

I'm desperate for help. Talking to my husband is not enough, he doesn't have this problem with our boys. He says they're "angels," with him. He thinks it's because I'm "the mother" that they give me a hard time.

I think I have an anger issue and I want to work at fixing that.


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May 31, 2016
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You Can Be The Good Mother You Choose To Be
by: Dr. DeFoore

Hi Momofaf - Thanks for telling your story here. It's very good that you don't like this anger, and that you're taking full responsibility for it. That is the first step to change.

I respect you for accepting full responsibility for the anger and not blaming your children or the fact that you are their mother.

You may need counseling to fully overcome this problem, but I'll offer some suggestions for you here that will hopefully help you.

Follow all of the guidelines you find on this page. This is not simple or easy, but if you apply yourself and do the work consistently for a few weeks or longer, you should start to see some results.

You're a good person, and that's why you don't like the anger you're showing toward your children. Make up your mind to solve this problem so that you can be the kind, gentle, loving mother you choose to be.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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