Big Anger Problem
I have a problem with getting very angry with my wife. I have not hit her, but I have punched holes in walls and ran her car over with my truck.
It's just when she won't listen to what I tell her--but somebody else can say the exact same thing and they're right.
I want to fix my anger problem. I want to be kinder to her. But I just can't stop when she starts. Can you help?Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Wayne, and thanks for your story. I will try to help you.
I like what you said--that you want to be kinder to your wife. You want that because that's who you really are. Your anger is a matter of old, unconscious emotional patterns. Let's see if we can help you with those, so that you can be more of the man you want to be.
Your wife will listen to you more when she trusts you more. First priority is for you to gain control of your anger. Then try to talk to her from a loving and respectful place.
Let's get started in dealing with the anger.
First, I want you to try these anger management techniques
. Read over them, and do your best with each one. Don't give up. Spend a few minutes each day with them until you're gaining control of your anger.
To deal with the triggers behind your anger do the journaling exercises on this page
, and that will help you a lot. There is a story behind your anger, and when you write about your memories, you'll be unraveling the mechanism that causes your uncontrollable anger.
You can do this, Wayne. Use these methods, and I promise you'll get results. The more you use them, the more you will benefit.
Never, ever give up on yourself.
My very best to you,
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