Angry Roommate

by kp
(Alabama)

I have this roommate that is a really angry guy. He is really nice, but whenever he drinks an animal seems to come out of him. He is really nasty to his girlfriend and to anyone who calls him out on it. He even punched a hole in my wall the other day when a friend tried to tell him that she was the best thing that he had and that he should not be wanting to cheat on her. He didn't listen, as the hole in the wall testifies. He has done this many times before.

He thought somebody was hitting on his girlfriend so he was shouting at her. My friends separated her from him and that just made him worse. He got home before they did and he was threatening to beat up some of his best friends. He punched a dent in his car he got so mad. Sometimes I worry what will happen when nobody is there to make him calm down or if he gets mad at someone who he is not familiar with. He may hurt someone.

What is going on in his head? How can we get him to calm down and keep him from beating up someone?

Response from Dr. DeFoore

The best (and maybe the only) thing you can do is to make sure you are healthy and emotionally balanced. If you try to change him, you could end up making things worse. Just do your best to stay calm and balanced yourself. What he does is entirely up to him. Also, it could really help if you believe in him and trust him to work things out himself. Thanks for your contribution!