Anger Taking Over My Life

by Steve
(Northamptonshire)

I get angry at almost everything except my kids. I don't get violent. I get road rage, angry when people are late, angry at the system, angry with the government, angry with almost anything really. I answered yes to 21 of the questions.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Steve, and thanks for telling your story here. I'm going to jump right in--the reason you don't get mad at your kids is that they remind you of the best of you, and you want to protect and preserve that in them (and although you may not realize it, in yourself).

The anger you're having shows up when people don't act right. And as you know, that happens all of the time. That's the nature of the world we live in.

Our point here is to help you with your anger, not to fix the world. This tired, broken, wonderful and constantly changing world is going to go on being what it is and becoming something new.

I will try to help you enjoy the ride a little more.

You have good reasons for your anger. You're right about all of those people around you who are screwing up. The thing is, that includes you and me. One of my favorite sayings is, "we're all bozos on the same bus."

Now, let's get down to the business of helping you take charge of your anger so that it works for you and not against you.


First, do the journaling process described on this page, to get all of your past trauma out in front of you where you can look at it. That's where your anger comes from.

Also, begin using the daily anger journaling process on this page to get that anger out on paper so that you can leave it there and go on with your life.

And finally, learn to shift your focus away from what angers you to what feels good, by using the writing exercise on this page. This will really help you--but only if you do it.

You have choices, Steve. You are not a helpless victim to all of the people around you, and you're not a helpless victim to your anger.

Believe in yourself, and do this writing, and you will start feeling better. And you will recognize eventually that there is a good child in your heart, just like the good children you have.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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