Anger Bursts

by Anonymous

I wouldn't say that I tend to get angry very easily but often times I find myself getting angry a lot more then I thought.

For example with my girlfriend. Just last night we had an argument. I got extremely upset at her false accusations, and even got to the point where I got in her face. Let me tell you that I would never hit a woman. At no point in time did the thought of hitting her run through my mind. However I was in her face and the both of us were yelling at each other.

I find that I get extremely upset when ever I am falsely accused. I used to never get this angry before. This amount of rage that I feel only started a couple of months ago. I used to get upset but never to the point of actually wanting to punch the wall. I did punch the wall last night out of rage. However like I said before I've never actually felt the need to hurt someone out of my rage.

What is wrong with me? I don't want this to get out of control. Should I seek counseling? I don't want to hurt my loved ones, or walls for that matter.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello, and thanks for telling your story on this site. It is great that you're acting at this point, rather than waiting until things get worse.

Here is an exercise for you to try:

Finish this sentence in as many different ways as you can possibly think of:

"When I am falsely accused..."
Then, come up with at least 10 different ways of finishing that sentence, trying to move in the direction of the worst case scenario--because you're trying to get to the buried emotions behind your reaction.

With that in mind, you might want to also journal about all of the times you have felt falsely accused in your life. Write out a description of each incident in total detail. You will find a full description of this and other types of journaling on this page.

There is nothing wrong with you. You had some anger outbursts that are disturbing to you, and it's good that you're willing to take responsibility and do something about it. That means there's a lot right with you.

If you have any unresolved emotional issues from your past these imagery processes will help you heal them. Often anger erupts from old, unresolved emotional issues.

Practice these anger management techniques on a regular basis, until you can master each one.

If you try the above recommendations and they don't work, or if you can't get yourself to do them, or if you just don't want to, I offer anger management counseling by telephone for those out of the Dallas area. Please contact us to schedule a session or to ask questions if you like.

You are a smart and good man, or you wouldn't be as concerned as you are about your anger. Believe in yourself, stay focused on solving this problem until you are sure it's resolved, and you'll not have to worry about it again.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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