An Angry Person

by Lana
(Scottsville NY)

Hi, my name is Lana. I'm 38 yrs old. I've been struggling with my anger problem since I was a little girl.

I get like bouts where I'll pick out any situation and hold onto it until I explode. Then I get angry and it's like the adrenaline rush kicks in and I purposely say mean, hurtful things to my boyfriends. It's ruined every relationship I've been in.

When its all over, I feel like a million bucks. But I feel so guilty too. Then I'm good until I do it again.

I have every excuse in the book. I use power and control to make me feel better. And I'm truly scared for myself. I want to really heal from this. I'm also a recovering addict as well.

I blame everything on all the wrong people. And I am now realizing that the problem is in myself.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hi Lana. It is so great to hear that you are in recovery from your addiction, and willing to take full responsibility for your anger problem. That puts you way ahead of the game. And that fear you have about yourself--that's because you're smart and healthy enough to know that things need to change.

Here's what I want you to do:

First, do the journaling exercises on this page every single day, no matter what. There are three types of exercises, and it's very important that you do all three. After you run out of stuff in the Trauma Writing part, just keep going with the Anger Journaling and the Goodfinding. This will really help you--but only if you do it!

Also, as you go through the Trauma Writing, you will come across some memories in which you've been wounded. Use these imagery processes for emotional healing to bring resolution to those memories, and that will give you a lot of help with your anger.

There is pain behind anger, and these exercises are designed to help you heal the pain that fuels your anger.

You also have to "tame the beast," so I also suggest that you do these anger management techniques a couple of times a day, until you start getting some relief, then do them once a day until you are a happy, calm person--I'm serious about that.

You can do this, Lana. You're good inside, and that's why you wanted to improve your situation and manage your anger.

Believe in yourself, and never ever give up on you.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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