Abused And Angry For Sixty Years

by Andrew
(Leesburg, VA)

I grew up on an incredibly beautiful farm in Virginia. My dad played with my older brother and I when we were very young. Took us to an amusement park. He brought ponies to the farm which we would break.

Then it was my mother who started taking us everywhere, swimming, the movies. At a very young age I saw that my dad was drinking, and this caused a lot of problems in the family.

On at least one occasion when he didn't come home at night I went to the barn and found him in a drunken stupor. I was age 6 or I got him up and took him home.

What did those years of drinking and not being there for me do to me? My older brother abused me for sixty years, and that's very accurate. I can remember the deep feelings of emotional pain when I would reach out to him and try to be friends but he would brutally reject me.

I been in a lot of counseling. I was a late bloomer, quit high school. Then I finished high school years later at age sixty.
Still a part of me does not know who I am. Thanks.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Andrew, and thanks for telling your story here. I think you will benefit a lot from the three journaling processes described on this page. If you really do them, they will help you to get to know more about who you really are inside.


I want you to consider that you're a good man, and always have been. The difficult experiences you have had created emotional trauma and self limiting beliefs, but you can heal those.

I encourage you to join an ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics) group, where you can learn more about the effects of this type of childhood experience. You can also learn a lot from this excellent book, entitled Adult Children of Alcoholics.

For your emotional healing process, I encourage you to these imagery processes to address each painful memory you recall. You will also benefit from our audio CD/download about nurturing your inner child.

You also need to read the following pages on relationships, Andrew. You can be free from your relationship with your brother, and you will find the methods here:

how to deal with abusive relationships
quotes on relationships
relationship advice
letting go of a relationship

You can do this, Andrew. You've got what it takes, if you set your mind and your good heart to it.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

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