A Grown Up Bully
(Fort Wayne, IN)
My story starts when I began courting my husband. You see, he had a best friend and little did I know how much this friend would interfere in our relationship at the time. You see his friend was a jokester (not just any kind, but somebody who was looking for the perfect person to pick on) and I was the brunt of a lot of jokes, probably more than I will ever really know or care to know.
When Robert (my husband) and I were still courting his friend (Eric) would do things to me. At the time the little things didn't bother me too much, but after we were married things escalated quickly. I was not wise enough to know it, but I talked to Eric about Robert's and my marriage problems. Well, as I did this he began to make things appear larger in my eyes then they were and basically pitted Robert and me against one another, which he found funny when we would have a huge fight. (I'm not blaming him for every problem in my marriage, it just aggravated it).
Well as time went on I became a victim (in my mind and his) to his cruel jokes. At one point after our baby girl was born, I was going through post-partum depression and Eric called and left awful messages on the home phone. He pretended to be my husband and say that while he works hard, I sit on my fat butt (I am overweight) and do nothing.
This was the hardest thing I could have imagined. After this he would do stuff like park really close to my car door at church and hide my purse. It was a constant something.
Well the moment I forgave was when a preacher came to our church and spoke on bitterness. I realized right then that I was bitter. I was bitter towards Eric and some other people in my life. I want to say that I have forgiven him fully but I realized after reading your article that I haven't and I am going to work on this starting now. Thank you!Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello Melissa, and thanks for telling your story here. I'm glad you found the article to be helpful, and that you plan to work on continuing your forgiveness process. Fully claiming and expressing your anger in healthy ways will really help you to let go and forgive.
I am sure you will succeed.
My very best to you,
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