What Is Tough Love?
And How Can It Help Me?

The Healing Anger Newsletter (skip to where the new issue starts) brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace. If you like this ezine, please do a friend and me a big favor and "pay it forward" by forwarding it to them. If a friend did forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting the Healing Anger Newsletter subscription page. This newsletter and the web site, AngerManagementResource.com were built and are maintained through a program called SiteBuildIt!, which is now offered as an eLearning course you can take from home! It's the best way I know of to deal with the economic stress that so many are facing right now. Find out how you can start your own successful Internet business by watching these great videos about why so many people love SiteBuildIt! Would you like to lend a helping hand? If you have purchased a book, CD or audio download, I would very much like to hear what you thought of your product! With your permission, I will publish your comments, with your name, on my web site to help other visitors like yourself learn more about the products. This would be a big help! Oh! By the way, did you get your free E-book? If so, after you've had a chance to read it and try some of the Anger Management Techniques, write to me and let me know what you think! June 1, 2010 Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #025 What Is Tough Love? And How Can It Help Me? Contents of this newsletter What's New on AngerManagementResource.com? What Is Tough Love? How Tough Love Can Help You Tough Love Requires Healthy Anger

What's new on the web site? Ten new web pages--check them out! Here's The Table Of Contents Go to the bottom of this page and you will see the titles of all of the new pages as they are added during the month -- and here is a list of the ones added since last month. Learn about how to solve your marital problems, deal with depression and anger, learn how depression hurts loved ones and overcome jealousy with anger management tools. Discover how to deal with stess and anger in healthy ways, a temper tantrum can be good or bad, and adult add symptoms are affected by anger management skills. Also find out about how to treat ptsd symptoms with imagery, chronic depression resulting from unresolved grief, and natural remedies for depression. And, finally, learn about a ptsd treatment you can do on your own at no cost whatsoever. What Is Tough Love? Love only has to be tough in a challenging or difficult relationship. And, all relationships are challenging at some point, so tough love is something just about everybody needs to understand. Here are some ideas to help you get started: Tough love can be defined as: Setting clear boundaries and limits to actions and options of others in your life, while remaining kind, respectful and empathetic for the other person. When love is tough, it's still love. If the "tough" part gets too big, the love gets crowded out, and it just doesn't do any good. Tough love has a lot to do with healthy anger. When anger is healthy, it works in support of love, and when love is tough, it has healthy anger in it. But the love is always the strongest part. Tough love might seem mean, cold and unkind to the other person, because of the clear, firm boundaries being set. Think of times in your past when you or someone else has set clear boundaries in a loving, clear and compassionate way. How did you know the love was there? How did you know the boundaries were clear? Thinking through those types of experiences will tell you a lot about tough love. Tough love is most needed in the following situations: Setting limits for children and adolescents. Limits without love just don't work. When your child feels loved, the limits are more often accepted. Establishing boundaries around intimacy and sexual contact. A lot of people, women in particular, feel that their body belongs to whoever wants to have their way with them. This always leads to problems, and tough love is greatly needed here. Ending a relationship. It is surprising to me how many people stay in unhealthy relationships long after they need to leave them. In the worst case, this can be a battered person scenario, but there are many milder cases as well. Read these letting go quotes to help. Without tough love, you will be walked on, taken advantage of, and possibly abused. Make up your mind to learn healthy anger and tough love now! How Tough Love Can Help You Tough love can help you be happy and have healthy, enjoyable relationships. Another term for tough love is healthy anger. When anger is healthy, it works hand-in-hand with love and wisdom, which is a good definition of tough love. Here are some things to consider about tough love: Tough love means knowing when and how to say "No!" Tough love comes from self love. If you don't love yourself, you simply will not stand up for yourself and set boundaries. Tough love also means having empathy for the other person. Love just does not exist without empathy. If you "avoid conflict" or "can't stand conflict," you probably don't have tough love skills. These conflict resolution skills will show you how you can express tough love in a relationship. These relationship quotes and this relationship advice will also help you, as well as this CD program that gives a lot of information about boundaries in marriage and this one for parents of adolescents. Tough Love And Healthy Anger This excellent CD program is entitled, Healthy Anger And Your Health, and is available either in CD format or as an MP3 audio download. It will help you understand healthy anger and how to use it for tough love. Consider the time, energy (and maybe money) you are investing here as an investment in yourself, that will serve you and everyone you love for the rest and the best of your life. P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser. P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone (including Skype) counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session! Next Issue Do You Have Low Self Esteem? Find Out How To Love Yourself!

Let me hear from you! Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine. Also, as I mentioned above I would very much like your testimonial or endorsement if you have purchased a product--or if you downloaded our free E-book! Don't forget! We want to hear your story, and when you submit it you get your own web page on the site! Take a look at the categories you can write in now. It's easy! Thanks for being here! William G. DeFoore