July 01, 2008
The Benefits of Opening Up
And How It Can Heal Your Anger
The Healing Anger Newsletter brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace.
If you like this e-zine, please do a friend and me a big favor and "pay it forward" by forwarding it to them. If a friend did forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting the Healing Anger Newsletter subscription page.
By the way, do you want to start your own successful Internet business?
Contents of this newsletter
- What's new on AngerManagementResource.com?
- Why Can't I Just Put The Past Behind Me?
- What does my anger have to do with my past?
- How does opening up help me?
- 8 steps to the healing benefits of "Opening Up"
- The Love, Anger and Forgiveness CD program will help you learn to let go of anger and return to love through forgiveness.
How To Stop Bullying By Teaching Empathy Skills--a practical how-to guide to understanding and helping with the bullying problem, for kids, parents and school officials.
Free Anger Management--an overview of all of the free information, Ezines, E-books, videos and audio previews available on the site.
Anger Management Tools--for quick relief and lasting control! Tools that you have right now, and some within reach of your fingertips that will give you the relief and control you're looking for.
Seven Stage Of Grief--how to understand and move through the grieving process without getting stuck in anger and denial.
Good question! You can try to put your past behind you, but the only place it will go is to the back of your mind. Then it will run the show at times, from the background (your subconscious mind), and trigger your anger, over and over. You just can't get rid of your past--and you wouldn't want to, because it is your life experience!.
So! Why not turn that dirt into gold? That's right--by working with your memories, you will get smarter and stronger, and overcome the issues that have caused your anger.
Okay, here's the deal. You and I and everybody else got hurt, one way or the other. Maybe you know how your were hurt, and maybe you don't. But it's part of being human. Because you were hurt, you became afraid and wanted to protect yourself--that's where anger comes in. Anger is a protective emotion. So all those memories of getting hurt (by abuse, neglect, abandonment or favoritism), are in your past! Yep, the causes and cure for your anger issues are in your own memories, which live in your past. And when you take responsibility for healing your own anger by working with your memories, you gain tremendous freedom, strength and self-knowledge.
Whether it's by talking or writing about your past traumatic experiences, you will benefit. Dr. James Pennebaker, in his excellent book entitled, Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions cites research that shows how writing about painful traumatic experiences reduces physical illness and in some cases helps individuals control their anger. He tells of one study where a group of individuals were laid off from their jobs with no notice after over 20 years of loyal service. In his research study, those who wrote in detail about what happened to them were less angry afterwards, and were much more likely to get jobs than those who did not write about their experience.
- Make up your mind you're going to give this a try, no matter what
- Get in a place where you will be uninterrupted, for at least 15 minutes
- Write about the experiences you consider to be traumatic--the ones that have the most pain, sorrow, fear and anger connected with them
- Understand that you don't have to share this with anyone, so that it is completely private, and you don't have to worry about anyone else seeing it
- Focus on your feelings and the details of the events as you write. It doesn't have to be totally accurate--just write it as you remember it.
- Do this for at least 15 minutes at a time. Longer periods are fine, but don't do it for less than 15 minutes each time.
- Keep doing this until you have finished writing about that particular memory. If you finish describing a memory before 15 minutes are up, then just start over and write it again.
- Keep what you've written private, destroy it, or only share it with a trusted friend or counselor.
Listen to this free preview of this CD program now!
Anger And Grief
How Does Anger Relate To Grief And What Can I Do About It?
Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this zine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine.
Thanks for being here!