The Healing Anger Newsletter (skip to where the new issue starts) brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace. If you like this ezine, please do a friend and me a big favor and "pay it forward" by forwarding it to them. If a friend did forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting the Healing Anger Newsletter subscription page. This newsletter and the web site, AngerManagementResource.com were built and are maintained through a program called SiteBuildIt!, which is now offered as an eLearning course you can take from home! It's the best way I know of to deal with the economic stress that so many are facing right now. Find out how you can start your own successful Internet business by watching these great videos about why so many people love SiteBuildIt! Would you like to lend a helping hand? If you have purchased a book, CD or audio download, I would very much like to hear what you thought of your product! With your permission, I will publish your comments, with your name, on my web site to help other visitors like yourself learn more about the products. This would be a big help! Oh! By the way, did you get your free E-book? If so, after you've had a chance to read it and try some of the Anger Management Techniques, write to me and let me know what you think! November 1, 2009 Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #018 How To Improve Your Marriage Small, Powerful Steps To Solving Marriage Problems Contents of this newsletter What's New on AngerManagementResource.com? What Was Your Marriage Training? Where Is Your Focus? Simple, Powerful, Everyday Things Preview This Two CD/Audio Program Now!

What's new on the web site? Two new web pages, a special story and lots more new stories--check them out! Stop The Verbal Abuse This web page will help you understand the different kinds of verbal abuse, what causes them, and what to do about it. Relationship Quotes Here is a great collection of quotes on your relationships with yourself, your spouse or partner and your children. "I Am Angry And So Confused" Here is a story by a young woman who sees her family patterns showing up in her relationship with her boyfriend. Learn about how some of us get anger and love mixed up with each other. We've got lots of new stories for you to read and learn from. The numbers of submissions is growing daily, and these are high quality stories from good folks just like you! What Was Your Training For Marriage? Whatever your childhood situation was, that's where you were introduced to marriage. To get an idea of what your "training" was, try this writing exercise: Just write the unfinished sentence, "Marriage is..." and finish it as many ways as you can think of--positive and negative. Then ask yourself, "What part of that is my idea, and what part of that did I get from my own parents and from other people?" Another exercise would be to write your response to these: I learned from my mother that a woman is, a wife is, a mother is... I learned from my father that a man is, a husband is, a father is... I learned from my parents that marriage is... Then you get to decide! Now write about what you choose for your marriage to be, what kind of woman/man, husband/wife and mother/father you want to be. Be aware that when you're feeling good, healthy and strong, you will be able to be exactly what you choose to be--but when you're hungry/angry/lonely/tired, you will most likely resort to the old patterns of your training. Learn about some of the ways to get free from your past and create the marriage you choose on this page, and be sure to check out our new relationship quotes. What Are You Focusing On? Where you put your mental focus--that is, what you pay attention to, think about, dwell on, etc. is the most important choice you will ever make in your life. Here's the real clincher for marriage: If you are always focusing on your partner, and you don't take very good care of yourself, or if you're angry all of the time and you blame your partner, then you are creating your own problems! Shift your focus to yourself. Ask yourself: Am I eating well, exercising, resting well and getting plenty of joy and laughter in my life? Am I expressing my love and appreciation for myself and others on an ongoing basis? Am I taking responsibility for my own anger, fear and sorrow? Am I taking responsibility for keeping myself happy, or am I expecting someone else to do that? When you can answer "Yes" to all of those, you won't be needing or asking much of your partner. You'll just be bringing a happy, healthy person to the relationship. Oh, and by the way...when you take good care of yourself in the way described above, there's no way you will stay in a relationship where you're being abused! Simple, Powerful Everyday Things Have you ever heard, "Love is in the details"? Well, there's a lot of truth in that. The technique and mastery of showing love is a lot more challenging than most people realize. Here are some ways to show your love in small, everyday ways: Smile as much as possible Be friendly and polite Always greet your partner when they have been away, or even if they've just been in another part of the house for a little while Leave "a clean trail," or in other words, pick up after yourself so that your partner has a pleasant experience when they end up in a space you've been using Do your part--if you live in a house, be a responsible adult and do an equal part of the cleaning and maintenance Use light, friendly touches on the arm, shoulder, back or hand throughout your time together Express gratitude and appreciation for your partner's regular tasks, such as working all day at their job, doing the laundry, cooking dinner, taking out the trash, etc. In other words don't take anything for granted, ever! And, perhaps most important of all...always treat each other with respect. You can even do this when you're angry! Learn more about healthy anger. Check Out Our Two Marriage CDs! You can preview these great programs free, right now! Our two programs are Expectations In Marriage: Dealing With Anger And Disappointment In Loving Relationships which you can preview here, and Sacred Roles In Marriage: Keys To Creating Fantastic Relationships, which you can preview here. Consider the time, energy (and maybe money) you are investing here as an investment in yourself, that will serve you and everyone you love for the rest and the best of your life. P.S. Why not make the rest of your life the best of your life? You can get started right now with Elegant Aging: Growing Deeper, Stronger and Wiser. P.P.S. Did you know that I offer telephone counseling around the world? That's right, from the comfort of your home, you can get professional counseling from me, Dr. William DeFoore. Contact us now to schedule a session! Next Issue Stop The Verbal Abuse With Basic Skills You Can Learn And Start Using Now

Let me hear from you! Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine. Also, as I mentioned above I would very much like your testimonial or endorsement if you have purchased a product--or if you downloaded our free E-book! Don't forget! We want to hear your story, and when you submit it you get your own web page on the site! Take a look at the categories you can write in now. It's easy! Thanks for being here! William G. DeFoore