The Healing Anger Newsletter (skip to where the new issue starts) brings you a refreshing, helpful and upbeat approach to anger management and how it can work for you in every aspect of your life. Here is your chance to keep up with my (Dr. DeFoore here) latest discoveries and insights on anger management and how you can heal the anger in yourself, your family, your school and your workplace. If you like this ezine, please do a friend and me a big favor and "pay it forward" by forwarding it to them. If a friend did forward this to you and if you like what you read, please subscribe by visiting the Healing Anger Newsletter subscription page. This newsletter and the web site, AngerManagementResource.com were built and are maintained through a program called SiteBuildIt!, which is now offered as an eLearning course you can take from home! It's the best way I know of to deal with the economic stress that so many are facing right now. Find out how you can start your own successful Internet business by watching these great videos about why so many people love SiteBuildIt! Would you like to lend a helping hand? If you have purchased a book, CD or audio download, I would very much like to hear what you thought of your product! With your permission, I will publish your comments, with your name, on my web site to help other visitors like yourself learn more about the products. This would be a big help! Oh! By the way, did you get your free E-book? If so, after you've had a chance to read it and try some of the Anger Management Techniques, write to me and let me know what you think! June 1, 2009 Healing Anger Newsletter, Issue #013 Anger, Love And Forgiveness Contents of this newsletter What's New on AngerManagementResource.com? How Do Anger, Love And Forgiveness Work? How Do I Let Go Of Anger? How Do I Really, Truly Forgive? Make Sure You Get The Best Possible Help!

What's new on the web site? Four brand new web pages--check them out! Overcoming Anger Addiction: Don't Let Anger Addiction Destroy Your Health And Your Relationships--How do you become addicted to anger? Well, it gets the heart pumping, it can give you energy and even activate adrenalin. All of this feels good--at least better than the feelings of fear and helplessness that often come before it! So, that's what makes it addictive--you keep exploding because it feels good--but it also does more and more damage to you and those you love. Divorce Advice: If you are divorced or about to get one, this page is for you. Get advice on how to keep anger from making the divorce process worse, how to avoid hurting your children in the process, and how to let go of a relationship. Dealing With Abusive Relationships: If you think you are, or have ever been, in an abusive relationship--this page is for you. Figure out whether you need to get out of the relationship, or stay and work on it. Learn about how to take care of yourself no matter what is going on, and finally learn how to take effective action to end the abuse! Getting Revenge: Have you ever wanted to get revenge? Of course you have--we all have! A lot of violence results from this, so learn about healthy alternatives to getting revenge. Avoid hurting yourself and your loved ones by practicing these powerful and effective techniques. How Do Anger, Love And Forgiveness Work? Everybody wants to love and be loved, but pain, fear and anger can really get in the way. Forgiveness is the way back to love when anger has taken over. Here is how the process seems to work: Love--it all seems to start with love. Police officers will tell you the most dangerous call they can make is domestic violence. That's because in the family, there's more love, therefore more vulnerability, more chance of being hurt, more fear and therefore more anger. Love is where it begins, and if you are able to forgive, that is also where it ends. Then there's always pain--if there's a lot of love, somebody's going to get hurt. That's just part of life, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. Because of the pain, there's fear and anxiety. This is totally natural, but you need to be aware of it so that it doesn't take over and make you "blind." Next comes anger, because it is a powerful, protective emotion that comes straight out of fear, pain and love. Anger is not wrong--it's actually totally natural. But most of us don't know how to express anger in healthy ways, so it comes out in harmful ways. Now we need to forgive--because it all started with love, right? This is the hard part--it's easy to love, get hurt and be angry, right? So, now let's really get into what it means to forgive. That process we just talked about is a familiar one we've all been through. It is common. Forgiveness--true forgiveness--is not so common. How Do I Let Go Of Anger? I know, we said we were going to get to forgiveness--well, letting go of anger is the first step! Anger is something you feel, it's not who you are. You have to remember that you really are a good person who wants to love and be loved, and that's the first step to letting go of anger. Here are some of the steps to getting there: Realize you have good reasons for your anger. Trace your anger back to the fear and the pain that is behind it. Tell that story. Writing about your anger can help you let go of it--and it's free! Practice these anger management techniques over and over, and you will definitely let go of your anger and be ready to begin to forgive. How Do I Really, Truly Forgive? These are the steps to forgiveness, as I understand them after 37 years of helping people let go of anger and resentment: Be sure you have followed the above steps of letting go of your anger. You can't hold anger and forgive at the same time. Remember that love is who and how you really are inside, and that forgiving is more about who you are than anger is. Grieve the losses you have experienced in the relationship where you need to forgive. If you haven't grieved fully, you won't be able to forgive. Learn more about skills for healthy grieving here. Recognize that forgiveness is something you do with your heart and your gut, not your head. You may want to try some physical anger release methods to help with this. Realize that you are forgiving for yourself, not because the other person necessarily deserves it. Forgiveness is for you, for your health and your good heart. Be aware that you forgive because that is who you are. It is not "letting the other person off the hook." They are still responsible for their actions, no matter what. Write about the wrongs that you are trying to forgive. It is absolutely necessary that you get it out! Keep repeating all of these steps until you feel your body relaxing and breathing a huge sigh of relief. That's when you will know you have finally forgiven. Then wish the other person well, and give them permission to be who they are on the planet with you. You may or may not choose to be close--that's another story. Forgiveness doesn't mean everything goes back to how it was, necessarily. Be easy with yourself during this process. Stay with it, and you will get there. Make Sure You Get The Best Possible Help! Here is your chance to get the total picture of true forgiveness! Forgiving when you've been hurt, abused or even just disappointed and let down can be one of the biggest challenges we face as human beings. Listen to Dr. DeFoore as he guides you through the process of letting go of anger, healing emotional wounds, and returning to love through total forgiveness. You can listen to a free preview of this enlightening and effective audio program now, which is available for immediate download. Remember, you forgive for you, because you are a good person and forgiving is returning to who you are. Next Issue Overcoming Anger Addiction For The Benefit Of Your Relationships And Your Health

Let me hear from you! Comments? Ideas? Feedback? I'd love to hear from you. Just reply to this ezine and tell me what you think! If you have ideas for future Healing Anger Newsletter issues, I'm open to considering them. Here is your opportunity to get involved--I might even include your comments, story or link in a future issue of this ezine. Also, as I mentioned above I would very much like your testimonial or endorsement if you have purchased a product--or if you downloaded our free E-book! Don't forget! We want to hear your story, and when you submit it you get your own web page on the site! Take a look at the categories you can write in now. It's easy! Thanks for being here! William G. DeFoore