18 Year Old With Anger Problems

by Sania
(Pakistan)

Hey. I am 18 year old and also a med student. I have some serious anger management issues.

When I get angry, I can get violent. And the worst arguments I have is with my mum. First it was just verbal abuse from me but now I have seriously kind of starting hitting her. I mean when she pulls me off in a direction I kinda grab her shirt and pull off in another direction. (Don't think my mom didn't tried to stop it).

And after that I feel horrible and bad and ashamed cause I know what I did clearly and it really takes me 20 to 30 mins to calm down. But after that I am all nice and smiley. My both parental sides have some serious anger management issues as well. I think it has crossed the point of anger management for me. I am that much worse.

In my arguments with my brother I have hit him too. Last time we had a fight I grabbed him so hard that his skin came off from the areas where my nails hit him. I don't know what's wrong with me but I know I need help because I know I am doing wrong, but I can't seem to stop.

It's like I am being controlled. Help.

Response from Dr. DeFoore

Hello Sania, and thanks for telling your story here. It's good that you're asking for help here. You don't like the anger and violence because that's not who you really are--even though you're totally responsible for your anger and your actions. You're a good person inside, but your anger has become very toxic. I will try to help you heal it.

Follow all of the steps described on this FAQ page, and I think you will be able to begin understanding what's behind your anger, and begin to heal it.

I hope this is enough for you, Sania. It might not be, so if you need more, please look around at what else is available on this site. Especially check out these online anger management classes.

Just don't give up on yourself. You are worthy of a good life. Believe in the goodness of your heart, and make up your mind that you will heal and become the person you want to be.

My very best to you,

Dr. DeFoore

P.S. If you found this to be helpful, please consider making a donation to this site to support our mission to help you become your own best anger management resource.

P.P.S. If you got something of value here, we would also greatly appreciate it if you would provide a written testimonial about the site, Dr. DeFoore's help, or one of our products.