18 Year Old Mother Afraid Of What Might Happen
Hi. I am 18 years years old and I have a 9 month old daughter & I am also married. I just need help with my issues.
My mother was never there for me and now she is trying to ruin my life because I have what she never did! I argue with my husband all the time, saying that it's him and that he never understands me, and I just wanna explode sometimes!
My mother has caused my anger. She just lies about me all the time and says I'm a bad person because I got pregnant at an early age. What mother does this?
She makes me look bad to everyone. I feel like nobody understands me and I just wanna hit somthing! It's terrible, and I get angry at the silliest things, that I know are silly, but I can't help it. I just get so mad!
I have to ask my husband where he's going at all times, and I get mad cause I'm always home with my daughter and he gets to leave the house and I'm stuck here!
I don't know what to do. I try really hard not to get mad, but it just happens and I go off.Response from Dr. DeFoore
Hello, and thanks for telling your story here. You will find help for your anger and letting go of your mother in questions #1 and #8 on our FAQ page
Your mother is responsible for what she did and didn't do when you were a child. But she's not responsible for your anger now that you're an adult--that's your responsibility. The good news about that is that it means you are free to change it.
It is time for you to decide to feel good about yourself, and decide to be a good mother. After doing the work to let go of your mother, use the positive journaling exercise to focus on all of the things you love about your daughter. Make up your mind to be the mother you wanted yours to be.
Use all that I recommend here in the order that I listed, and you will get benefit.
Do this for yourself and your daughter.
It will also help you to use the same positive journaling exercise (described in FAQ#1 to focus on what you love about your husband.
You're a good person, and that's why you wrote your story for this site. You know it should be better--that you're better than this.
Focus on that "better" person you know you are inside, and make up your mind to become that.
Believe in yourself.
My very best to you,
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